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Cleaning your house in 10 easy steps (without actually cleaning it)

By Gretchen Theisen

April 2017
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No matter how small your living space is, or even if you live alone, cleaning can sometimes be a daunting task. We’ve all done it; staring at the dishes with apathy, wishing a sanitation fairy would come and wash them for free. But those visitors are coming soon, and time is running out. Well, just know that there are ways to “clean” your house without actually cleaning it!

How to clean your house in 10 easy steps (without actually cleaning it)

  1. Dim the lights
  2. Light scented candles or incense, or spray a freshener around
  3. Close exposed garbage bags or cans, or just take out the garbage
  4. Hide dirty dishes (in dishwasher, in cupboards or in oven)
  5. Turn on music to add distraction
  6. Open windows
  7. Close doors to messy rooms; keep visitors in a select few rooms
  8. If you have hardwood or ceramic tile floors, put on socks and shuffle your feet
  9. Shove items under your bed, then make the bed
  10. Blame spills and stains on your pet

I guarantee you that your visitors will still notice some neglect, but not to the extent that they would had you not performed these quick tricks.

What other methods do you use to clean your house without actually cleaning it?

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Gretchen Theisen lives in Milwaukee’s hipster Bay View neighborhood in a 1919 home with her 2 kitties, Sylver (a sweet fluff-bucket) and Henry (another obnoxious redhead). Gretchen loves playing music, photography, garlic, history, animals, volunteering, speaking Spanish, sarcasm, killing zombies and faking it on the accordion.